Many people lack conversation skills and don’t even realize it. Here is a guide to some of the pitfalls when engaging in casual conversation.
The Bore
Boring people talk incessantly about themselves, their families and their interests. They don’t ask questions and they don’t listen to others. A successful conversation has to be a two way thing.
The Know-it-all
Many people have a wide general knowledge. Unfortunately, some of them haven’t learnt the wisdom of when to share their erudition. The know-it-all believes they know more than anyone about any given topic and will always have a story that is more spectacular, more interesting and more enlightening.
The Loud Mouth
These characters dominate a conversation by sheer volume. They talk loudly, laugh loudly and normally have plenty to say. They enjoy being the center of attention and don’t allow others to share and interact. Eventually, people will avoid talking to them for more than a couple of minutes.
The Complainer
Everyone has problems but the complainer broadcasts his woes for everyone to hear. Issues that should be dealt with in private are tossed out during conversation, often leaving the other party embarrassed or uncomfortable.
The Nosey Parker
In some ways, nosey parkers are opposite to the bore. They show an interest in other people to an excessive degree. Personal questions are asked and they pry into private areas that are of no concern to them. This is often done while feigning interest or concern.
The Scanner
Also known as a butterfly. These people engage in conversation while scanning the room for someone more interesting or with more elevated social status. They flit from one to the next, never paying full attention, as they look for the ultimate prize in social interaction.
The Linguist
These people sound like dictionaries. They use academic language and big words where small ones would do. The general effect is to make people feel uneducated and at a social disadvantage.
The Recluse
It is very difficult to converse with someone who has nothing to say. The recluse will answer questions with single words and seldom volunteer any information. After a few attempts at conversation. most people will leave the recluse sitting in the corner.
At some stage of life, everyone has a tendency to fall into one or more of the above categories. The important thing is to recognize it and make an effort to be more considerate and accommodating when conversing with others.
Recommended reading: The Book of Etiquette by Michael MacFarlane, Sterling Publishing Co, 2004.
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