Breaking the Heart Through Sex
How Painful Emotions Are Prepetuated With Sex
Too many people these days settle for junk food sex because their hearts have been broken too many times. Here is how the heart is broken in this way.
As related in the articles junk food sex and sex for all the wrong reasons, more people are having sex than ever before. But ironically though the quantity of sex people are having is going up, the quality of their sexual experiences are actually going way down. In short, people are drastically reducing their capacity for true pleasure and enjoyment during sex as they turn it, and the people they have sex with, into junk food. Why are people into junk food sex as never before? Simple. They are heart broken.
Ways We Pretend Our Hearts Are Not Broken While Having Sex
Of course, people, especially men, generally don't want others to know their hearts are broken. It hurts to feel rejected. It's a blow to the self-esteem to think that people may not love others the way they want and need to be loved. Because it is so painful people in general don't like to talk about their broken hearts. So, they turn sex into junk food falling into the trap of using others for sex as a way to cover up, or incorrectly, mend their hurt. But, ironically, every time they engage in sex and disconnect it from love, they perpetuate the cycle of hurt. How is this hurt healed? Not through sex, but through love. And, only when people reconnect sex with love, intimacy, and commitment, can ecstatic sex emerge.
How the Heart Is Wounded Through Toxic Orgasms
Ironically enough, sex requires a process of reaching out and becoming vulnerable. Orgasm can't happen other wise. But, when people are wounded or afraid even though they may be having orgasms, they are frequently having them in a toxic way. That is because they channel the mental thought, emotional desire, and physical sensation used in sex in a selfish way in relation to a partner. Sex is no longer about giving, which is part of the act of love. Sex is about "what's in it for me?," which turns into a one way orgasm energy suck leaving the other person feeling depleted, only partially fulfilled, or resorting to "faking it" as a way to just get through the whole awful experience without letting the other person know what an orgasm energy vampire they really are.
Examples of People Sucking Others Dry Through An Orgasm
Spotting if someone is an orgasm energy vampire during sex is easy. Just look at what is going on in their heads. Again, sex is not about love. It is not about giving, validating, honoring, cherishing, and respecting a partner. It is about relating to one's partner in the following ways:
- He/she makes me feel attractive and desirable.
- He/she makes me feel powerful.
- He/she allows me to use his/her body as a tool while I imagine someone else I really miss, or want instead of this person.
- He/she is simply someone I give into sexually so he/she won't leave me, or will stop bugging me and "get off my back" if I let him or her get off on me sexually.
If people could truly see the energy flow of orgasm in these types of scenarios they would quite honestly be shocked. They would literally see the orgasm energy suck going only one way or only being partial in nature. No wonder partners may go to sleep, feel angry or hurt after, get drained, or inwardly feel like the other person had "just gotten their rocks off" or "gone to the toilet on them." In fact, they have!
How to Move Beyond Breaking Hearts During Sex
As long as genuine love, intimacy, and respect isn't present during sex it is impossible to have an ecstatic orgasm. The energy flow simply won't travel up and through the body in a powerful way, and it certainly won't create much of a connection sexually together. That's why imagination, sex props, and even multiple partners have to come in so much. People are too bored, afraid, or angry to really connect with each other. This is also the reason why playful sex is only helpful at the beginning stages of ecstatic sex and not later on during the intermediate and advanced levels. Playful sex bringa in a certain level of connection and fun, but to really reach the state of ecstatic sex, couples have to travel deeper. They need to committ to a process of healing each other's hearts.
