Communicating Effectively in Relationships
How to Express Yourself Clearly and Have a Healthy Relationship
Jul 30, 2009
Relationships, whether between friends, partners, spouses, co-workers, neighbors, or parents and children, have one important thing in common: communication. There is an ongoing dialogue between people in relationship. Conversations may vary from being humorous and playful, inspiring and uplifting, to serious and somber, but there are times when things get heated, emotions flare and arguments ensue. In order to resolve disputes and have a healthy relationship, it's important to learn how to communicate effectively.
Express Yourself Clearly and Cleanly
Clear, clean, communication is essential in maintaining a healthy relationship. Without effective communication, relationships become testy, distant or non-existent. Follow these steps as a way to communicate more clearly and you will feel listened to in return.
- Process strong emotions before communicating with the other person. This may mean taking a break from the discussion and resuming it later. Recognize that charged emotions are often tied to past painful experiences or childhood wounds. When these are owned, acknowledged and released, the current situation becomes less charged and easier to discuss.
- Discuss the current situation, not past-time behaviors. Bringing up the past only clouds the conversation and distracts from the current situation. Reminding others of their past mistakes tends to shut them down, making it difficult for them to listen effectively.
- Stay away from blame. Blaming is useless as it only triggers defensiveness in the other person. When each person owns their feelings and reactions, it is much easier to share their perspective effectively.
Be Compassionate When Communicating
It's easy for people to say hurtful things during difficult discussions which they only regret later. To keep the conversation flowing smoothly, bring a compassionate perspective with you by following these steps.
- Step into the other person's shoes. Imagining what it is like from another's perspective activates compassion. This shifts the conversation from debate mode into understanding and cooperation.
- Practice acceptance. Accepting one another, no matter what, releases judgment and opens up a space for clean and clear effective communication.
- Speak from the heart. When people connect to their heart while discussing difficult topics, they balance logic with feelings, and are less likely to be nasty and more likely to be kind in conversations.
Have a Healthy Relationship with Effective Communication
Communicating effectively by owning and processing your emotions, keeping the conversation to present circumstances, avoiding blame, taking the other person's perspective, practicing acceptance instead of judgment, and speaking from the heart, will not only keep your communication clear and clean, but will ensure you have a healthy long lasting relationship.
For a related article, read how Men and Women Communicate Differently.
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