Difficult people are everywhere. Sometimes it's the bully at work. Sometimes it's a stranger in the grocery store. Sometimes it's a family member or the spouse of a dear friend. When it comes to dealing with difficult people, most opt out of encounters. Employees find other jobs. Visits become less and less frequent, damaging friendships and familial relationships. But is this really the best way to handle it?
There's an old saying that, "Into every life a little rain must fall." Hard situations are a part of life for most people. Executive staff don't get along with their employees. Business partners disagree about budgets. Spouses fight about child rearing, expenses, family vacations and who has a more difficult family.
Ignoring these situations only makes them worse. Waiting and worrying often emboldens the difficult person and causes undue stress to everyone else. Attacking the difficult person is a step in the right direction, as one confronts the situation, but nothing good can ever come from angry, irrational attacks. Disconnecting from the situation stops people from achieving their true potential.
Managing Difficult People
One way to manage a difficult person is to confront them. Confronting a difficult person is a good way to work toward a solution. It takes control away from the difficult person. It gives a voice to the voiceless and paves the way for real communication.
For many, the concept of confrontation means angry accusations and unhealthy interaction. But that's not what is intended. Healthy confrontation is done in a calm, rational way. It sets the stage for successful relationships to replace unhealthy ones. It is done in a none threatening way and allows for two-way dialogue between the parties.
How to Confront a Difficult Person
To confront a difficult person one needs a plan of action. As is the case with most problems, prior preparation prevents pitiful performance.
Follow these steps to prepare for dealing with the difficult people.
- Make the decision to face the person one-on-one.
- Prepare for the encounter by writing down the specific issue to be addressed and a goal, or desired outcome for the confrontation.
- Make a list of points that support the goal. List the points in order of importance.
- Brainstorm objections, disagreements or reactions the other person may have. Prepare responses to objections to reduce the negative impact and bad feelings.
- Write a solution for each negative outcome.
- Organize the notes and review before the meeting.
- Schedule the meeting in a neutral space.
- Look the person directly in the eye and explain the problem that needs to be addressed.
- Remember to listen to the other person's responses. When people feel heard and understood they are more likely to seek mutually beneficial solutions.
- Continue the conversation until the goal set up for the meeting are reached, or another satisfactory outcome is achieved.
Confronting and managing difficult people gets easier with practice. And life is easier for people who have the confidence to deal tackle hard situations head on. Taking positive action, despite uncertainty, breeds confidence and the courage to succeed.
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