Manifest what you want in a relationship (or other aspects of your life) by describing your wishes clearly, committing to success, feeling gratitude, and letting go.

Since The Secret, people have flocked to personal development teachings which explain how to improve the results in your life by working on your thoughts and feelings. Yet even with a positive, optimistic attitude, it can be a challenge to “attract” the right person for a relationship. The following tips describe one process for manifesting a relationship – or anything else – that you want in your life.

Manifesting What You Want: A Process Guide

In this approach, there are four steps to manifesting your dream:

1. Clarity
2. Commitment
3. Gratitude
4. Letting go

1. Clarity

Many people wish for a partner without the foggiest idea of what the right relationship will look like when it's arrived.

The first step in manifesting something in your life is to get clear on what you really want. Any emotions you have about a thing, whether positive or negative, will affect your vibration and what you attract.

Know what your conscious and subconscious desires are and, if possible, bring them into agreement. It may be helpful to write down your desire. Whether a point form list or an essay, writing or drawing about your goal is a powerful way to get clear on what you want.

Don’t say what you don’t want: If there is a negative you want to avoid, reframe it and describe its opposite. Focus only on what you want to attract into your life.

2. Commitment

Energy is continuous. Every thought, belief, or reaction you participate in creates results in your energy field that may, sooner or later, have an impact in your life.

If you are wishy-washy or unsure of your desire, your energy vibrations will fluctuate with your feelings of uncertainty and your dream may never manifest.

If you believe in something, heart and soul, your energy vibration is continuous and sends a clear message: this is what I want. This, and only this. The universe responds to certainty.

Consider the quote from W.H. Murray’s The Scottish Himalaya Expedition: “Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness concerning all acts of initiative and creation. There is one elementary truth… that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.”

3. Gratitude

Gratitude is one of the most powerful positive energies. Envisioning a life in which you already have the relationship you want and feeling grateful for the gift of that relationship is an important step in manifesting.

Gratitude can also be used to transform feelings of anger or frustration at life situations. If you can feel grateful for the learning opportunity or some other aspect of the situation, you improve your health, outlook, and the results you will achieve.

4. Letting Go

The final step in manifesting is to patiently and lovingly release your attachment to results. Put aside the papers on which you have described your ideal relationship and take steps to love yourself as you are and enjoy the life you have.

In other words, choose to “Let go and let God.”

Learning the secret to being committed while maintaining detachment about the result is a fine balancing act – perhaps the hardest part of creating your desires. You’ll find, however, that it is only when the desire is out of your mind that the universe can work or play with it – and surprise you by bringing about exactly what you wished for - or something better.