People Relationships Advice
Break Annoying Bad Habits and Improve Family Relations,Problems
How to improve relationships when friends and family have annoying habits or mannerisms.
Some people are annoying. They have habits, tics, and mannerisms that get under the skin and annoy, irritate, aggravate, and anger. It may be all you can do to tolerate being with these people. Perhaps you try to avoid them when possible, but unfortunately, some of these folks are family, neighbors, co-workers, and even spouses. What can you do about annoying family relations?
When you can't avoid them perhaps you try to help them change. You've probably tried everything you can think of to change them. All to no avail, they're still annoying. When will they ever learn?
Why is it that some behaviors annoy and others don't?
Reflection on Bad Habits
Before you go too far in self congratulations on being superior, likeable, and easy to get along with, consider that everyone is annoying to others at times.
The sad truth is that annoying bad habits and behaviors in others are likely to be more about internal feelings one has about oneself than about other people. The old adage, "If you spot it, you've got it," is often true. Any strong reaction to something emanating from another is generally a result of some internal, personal belief or dislike about oneself.
Because people often have behaviors and mannerisms that they dislike in themselves, yet have been unsuccessful in changing, they have strong reactions when seeing these same mannerisms in others. The self-annoyance or anger is re-directed toward others.
Relationship Help
There are two suggestions that can help alter the perspective with which you experience annoying behaviors, thereby helping to improve the relationship.
1. Consider that a behavior which annoys may be a positive trait with a bit too much intensity. Just as a favorite song fails to be pleasing when the volume is turned up too high, a strong character trait can be annoying when pursued too vigorously. This is when persistence becomes stubbornness, decisiveness becomes domineering, leadership becomes autocracy, and caution becomes fear of taking action.
When confronted with an annoying behavior, identify the corresponding positive trait. Reflect on whether the person is simply applying this trait with a bit too much vigor or intensity.
2. Look within for the means of calming someone's annoying behavior. Is this behavior something that you exhibit at times? Are you proud of this behavior? If not, work on improving this aspect of self. It will move your focus from another to yourself, which is the only meaningful change you can accomplish anyway, and it will generate greater empathy for the other person obviously struggling with the same problem.
Related Articles: Break 6 Bad Habits to Succeed, 3 Bad Manners Damage Relationships.
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