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Sex for All the Wrong Reasons

Why We Don't Take Time to Be Intimate Before Having Sex

Apr 19, 2008 Lisa Love

Avoid the morning after let-down following a sexual experience. Learn how to avoid feelings of anxiety, regret, anger and sorrow after the initial sexual rush.

These days taking time to really get to know a partner before having sex may seem old-fashioned. After all, the current trend in the dating world is to jump into having sexual relations with someone pretty much by the second date (and even that may be viewed as a little too conservative by a growing number of “junk food sex” participants). There are a number of unhealthy reasons people may be doing this, but here a few.

The Real Reasons People Are Increasingly Compelled to Have Sex Quickly

  1. Peer pressure -- Since people do not want to look different from the accepted norms established by their peers, they jump into fast sex as a means to comply with the expectations of others.
  2. Wanting to please -- Similar to the peer pressure example, people accommodate another person’s sexual desires and expectations so that they can avoid feeling unattractive, ungrateful, rejected, or abandoned if they do not.
  3. A need for personal validation – Others jump into “junk food sex” primarily as a means to feel attractive, sexy, powerful, masculine, feminine, and needed.
  4. Escape from pain -- After a painful loss (including a loss of income, job, and prestige, as well as a relationship) especially men rush into having sexual relations with another person in an attempt to escape from coping with their painful emotions.
  5. Acting out – Methods of acting out include sexually seducing and manipulating others (for financial gain for example) or using sex as an act of revenge (either towards the partner one is having sex with by being abusive with him or her, or by using another person to get even with, or get back at, the primary person they are in relationship with). It can also include simply using the body of another person as a means to get sexual release, which is another example of “junk food sex.”

After reviewing this list, it is easier to clearly see what is going on within the current sexual marketplace. And, it is easier to begin to understand how these behaviors and inclinations for junk food sex come about primarily because so many people these days are suffering from broken hearts and a lack of love in their lives. Instead of healing so they can find true love, people settle for the superfical junk food sex high. But, since the “best sex” involves intimacy, it requires that people move away from this junk food high. That means each individual must detox and clean up their junk food sex diet.

The copyright of the article Sex for All the Wrong Reasons in Personal Development is owned by Lisa Love. Permission to republish Sex for All the Wrong Reasons in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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