To truly experience ecstatic sex, love must be at the foundation. Love involves sincerity and nothing is more stimulating to the heart and aids the flow of energy during orgasm throughout the body than genuine expressions of love to one another.
As Partners Share Loving Validations They Can:
- Gaze into each other's eyes with deep sincere love and respect,
- Hold each other dressed or undressed as they share,
- Lightly caress and touch each other being sure that the touch is not intended to arouse, but to express the loving thought.
Respecting a Male Sexual Partner
When it comes to validating the male, it is best to play to the aspect of respect. In particular, men enjoy validation for the things they do, provide, and protect. These types of validations are often more meaningful than validating their inner qualities, though men do enjoy hearing about how they can be courageous, full of integrity, intelligent and industrious, to name a few more masculine elements.
Loving a Female Sexual Partner
As for a woman, she typically enjoys being validated for her qualities of being, more than doing. She may be especially sensitive to comments on her smile, looks, laughter, compassion, beauty, style, warmth, wit, and so forth. And, she may enjoy hearing how she is a good help mate, wise, sexy, nurturing, and supportive. What matters most is that the inner qualities are stressed more than her outer activities.
Preparing to Validate Each Other
Examples of ways to validate each other are many, but the most important thing is that they are sincere and heartfelt when said. If either partner feels blocked in his/her ability to validate the other, they can take some time contemplating the statements below and preparing a heartfelt response before sharing. And, since sharing these statements with each other can be a powerful experience it is best to make sure that partners allow enough time to do so. At first each partner can take as brief as ten minutes. Later, each may need thirty minutes or more. After each statement is shared, it is best if each partner allows a space for silence to really take the comment in. Rushing through is not the best way to make sure the heart of each partner is truly reached.
Validation Statements
I admire _______ so much about you.
I feel _________ when I am in your presence.
I am so grateful that you possess the quality of ________.
I am so moved when when you do ________ for me.
I enjoy giving _______ so much to you.
________ is such a beautiful quality you possess.
I wish I could give _________ more to you than I already do.
In my heart of hearts I believe you deserve _________ and I so wish I could give it to you.
Thank you so much for the time you contributed __________ to my life.
_______ is one of the things I respect most about you.
_______ is one of the things I cherish most about you.
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