What man doesn't fantasize now and then (or often) about dozens, even hundreds of women, desiring him sexually more than anyone else? Tapping into this fantasy and exploiting it culturally is precisely what made Hugh Hefnor so well off. Now add in a man's ability to be a better lover and tantra becomes Playboy on steroids. Worse, turn him into a tantric teacher who doesn't understand the inner dimensions of intimacy and love, let alone ecstatic sex, and you have the classic problem of tantra becoming more about sexual power and prowess than love (as it was originally intended). Worse still, put the tantric teacher above reproach because now he is considered "spiritual" and before long absolute power corrupts absolutely as this Playboy tantra teacher goes off the deep end taking other tantra lemmings along with him.
Now that the tantra teacher has absolute power no one has the right to ask if:...
Of course, women tantric teachers can act in a similar manner to their male counterparts. They may even have the added benefit of telling their sexual conquests that as women they are supposed to be worshipped, which means they also can't be questioned, even if they are also breaking hearts, disempowering people, and creating sexual addictions. And, if they are into being worshipped and served by multiple partners they may manipulate them unfairly by discouraging their partners from building a deeper connection with anyone else because:
Fortunately, ecstatic sex avoids these difficulties because it requires that practictioners become deeply loving and conscious before engaging in the sex act. Remember the goal is the highest level of joy imaginable. That doesn't happen when the potential for great pleasure also has the same potential for great pain.
Again, this is one way ecstatic sex is distinct from what many call tantric sex. And, in many ways ecstatic sex returns tantra to its original practice and intention. More so, ecstatic sex encourages and borrows from modern day insights into the psychology of men and women, intimacy, and lessons on how to stay clear of abuse and addiction in sex and relationships. Because of this ecstatic sex allows for real love to enter into the sexual experience. Though the path to ecstatic sex may not be as quick to achieve, it is well worth the effort, since it encourages sexual partners to engage in a continued process of becoming more loving, conscious, and free of the ego. For more information consider reading Ecstatic Sex vs Tantric Sex.