The Importance of Sexual Communication
Improving Relationships by Increasing Care
Despite the prevalence of sexual images in the media, leading to the expectation that having a great sex life is easy, good sexual communication is still one of the most difficult things to achieve in a relationship. Letting one's loved one know what you like in bed requires honesty and patience. One's desires also change over time. Sexual communication is thus an evolving process. Improving how one talk sabout love making will increase the closeness of the relationship and make it more likely to last!
Knowing one doesn't Know Everything
Every woman and man is unique in terms of how they like to be touched. Even if one has a wealth of sexual experience, one may not understand how this particular partner feels. Some enjoy rough play; some gentle. Some like frequent sex; some irregular intercourse. Some women can orgasm with mild manual stimulation; some require the use of sex toys. Not presuming one knows what one's partner likes is the first step to asking them what they want.
Asking the Right Questions
Begin by touching your partner gently and, while you’re doing so, asking them what they like. Do you enjoy having your nipples squeezed? Do you like your neck nibbled? Is this enough pressure on your clitoris? Are deep thrusts comfortable for you? Once they let one know what they appreciate in bed, remember, this doesn’t mean that one’s range of sexual desires doesn’t have to be reviewed throughout a relationship. It does mean that one's partner wants to feel heard. It can be annoying and a turn-off to have to answer questions every time one has sex. Even more frustrating is feeling that the lover wasted her time letting a partner know what she likes only to have him forget!
Being Open minded and Non-judgmental
Along with feeling heard, most people want to feel that their desires are normal, or at least acceptable. Some women and men enjoy being tied up during sex, or like visual stimulation, or appreciate the use of a range of toys. Even if one isn't experienced in this practice, the worst response one can have is disgust, shock or other signs that you are disturbed by their desires. If one loves or cares about the person, one will want them to feel good in the way that makes them happy. While one doesn't have to do anything that makes one feel comfortable, neither should anyone make a loved one feel odd or unclean for enjoying those forms of arousal. Most importantly, make all sexual partners feel good about their bodies and never draw attention to their flaws. Being criticized for things one cannot change is the ultimate turn-off.
Maintaining Care and Trust
If an individual feels that his partner really cares about him, he's more likely to be able to tell her what he likes. Knowing that one's significant other wants to listen, learn and expand the pleasures of one's sex life will increase the openness. A solid level of trust helps one to feel that they won’t share this information with others outside the relationship, betray you or deliberately hurt you. Sexual communication is sure to improve and with it, the overall quality of the relationship.
Renew Relationships with Improved Sex
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