The Secret of Amazing Friendships
What it Takes to be a Good Friend
Feb 15, 2009 Anthony Vultaggio
Amazing friendships get you through the rough times. These are the people with whom you share your joys, confide your fears and even shed a few tears. Some people seem to build them easily and naturally while other struggle. The reason is that building great friendships requires that you be a good friend.
In Southern California, there isn’t a spot of land to build on, yet half the population is popping Prozac. Why? Because they haven’t learned the secret. Not the law of attraction “secret” but the secret that if you open yourself up to others they will fill your emptiness, and you theirs. It really is that simple.
You see, you were never meant to be alone. You were meant to find connection, to reach out to others. Pride, past hurts and a host of other negative emotions and reactions often get in the way, but you need connection to others. You need strong, loving relationships.
Robert Bly said, "The beginning of love is the horror of emptiness." Unfortunately, you don’t have to go far to find lonely people. There are over seven billion people in the world, most of which are incredibly lonely.
Be a Real Friend
Getting to know someone simply because they are the "right" person to know is no way to begin a friendship. Make a sincere effort to get to know people and find the people with whom you connect. The best friendships are the most sincere.
Be an Honest Friend
Honesty truly is the best policy. In friendships, strive to be a man or woman of your word. If you say you'll do something, do it. Keep promises. Don't lie. If you don't want to go to the movies don't invent an excuse. Be honest about your reasons and you'll find the people that respect you for who you are.
Keep Confidences Confidential
Loyalty is a highly respected quality. If someone tells you something in confidence and you tell the world you are not being loyal. It is better to remain quiet than to say too much and risk hurting someone with your words. If you hear something about a friend that sounds out of character, let the story die there or else go straight to the source. Getting the truth from a friend is the best way to build a relationship.
Help Your Friend During Times of Need
Volunteering to pick up your friend's children from school or baking a few dinners can go a long way to helping a friend in need. In our disconnected world, we are all fiercely independent but the reality is that our lives are all interconnected and we need each other.
Be a Good Listener to Your Friend
When friends are in crisis we want to help. But the best way to help is often by simply being there and listening. If your friend needs to talk. Listen. Don't offer advice. Don't try to fix their problem. Simply sit, be present and listen. Give them a hug. Be understanding. But don't burden them with a litany of what you belive they should do.
There's an old joke that the best vitamin for friendship is B1. The reality is that by being a true friend, real, true friendships find you. Treat others with kindness. Be there for people during the hard times and celebrate the good. Forgive, be patient, apologize and accept forgiveness. Friendships are built over time. Nurture them and you will enjoy the fruits of your efforts for years to come.
Tips for Being a Great Friend
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