Three Key Aspects to a Happy Marriage
Acceptance, Appreciation and Amusement Create Healthy Relationships
Oct 24, 2009
When two people first come together in a romantic relationship, they are naturally accepting, seeing only the best in each other, appreciating the similarities and differences, even finding the quirkiest aspects endearing.
Over time, particularly after getting married and living together for several years, irritation and intolerance wash away acceptance, expectation and judgment replace appreciation, and seriousness creeps in to smother any remnants of fun or amusement. What once was a healthy relationship and happy marriage is now a source of disappointment and discomfort.
Why does this happen? Is it because the daily responsibilities of earning a living, raising a family, and coping with life's challenges are too much? Is it because the love chemical concoction released in the brain during courtship has warn off, leaving both partners in a state of cranky withdrawal? Or is it simply because two people who love each other have started to take each other for granted and forgotten how wonderful their partner truly is?
No matter what the reason is for a relationship to become distanced, moody or painful, all it takes to bring it back into a healthy, happy state is to let go of the past, move into the present and begin accepting, appreciating and having fun with each other.
Accepting Your Partner in a Marriage
Acceptance is a form of unconditional love and forms the basis for healthy relationships. Not judging another's imperfections, mistakes, and problems sends a message of love and acceptance. It builds trust in a relationship.
No one is perfect. When one person expects another to behave in a certain way, or say or do something specifically, they are in for a disappointing ride. Letting go of expectation and accepting a person as they are is a huge gift. It feels so validating to be accepted, flaws and all. When a partner receives this, they are often more than willing to reciprocate.
Appreciating Your Wife or Husband
Each person brings their own gifts to a relationship and has their own way of expressing their love to the other. Some are wonderful listeners and offer the opportunity for nurturing and deep connection. Some are great talkers and know how to verbally express their love. Many are action oriented and contribute through tasks. And then there are those who can sooth away daily stresses with a healing foot rub or neck massage.
Noticing and appreciating what the other brings to the relationship, no matter how small and insignificant it may seem, lifts both partners' spirits and creates a space for love to blossom.
Having Fun in a Marriage
When seriousness weighs heavily on a relationship, it's time to lighten it up with play and amusement. Laughter not only eases stress and tension, it creates an opportunity for bonding. Instead of getting frustrated or irritated at a partner's behavior, being amused by their idiosyncrasies can keep the relationship light and playful. Sharing jokes or funny stories renews a friendship attitude. Trying something different to break out of a routine adds a fresh perspective. Exploring new adventures together invigorates a relationship.
It only takes one partner to bring acceptance, appreciation and amusement into the relationship, but it takes two to keep it going. As one partner starts to accept the other and begins to notice and acknowledge what they contribute to the relationship, the dynamic changes. Slowly the other partner feels loved and accepted and will offer appreciation in return. The atmosphere will lighten, allowing humor to bubble forth. Soon a deeper level of love will surge forth creating a healthy, happy marriage.
If communication is a problem in the relationship, reading how Men and Women Communicate Differently or Communicating Effectively in Relationships may bring relief.
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